Walnuts on My Windshield #44
July 28, 2006

When you don't send your kids to school, you are granted a lot of freedom and many opportunities. However, you can also miss out on a few obvious things, simply because no one reminds you, and/or because you fail to plan. So it was with Andrew's immunizations. We do choose to immunize our kids, and the Big Three are all caught up, but somehow, what with his never enrolling in kindergarten, and my being busy with many things, it never occurred to me that he needed some shots. When that fact did dawn on me, shortly after he turned seven, I called the health department and scheduled an appointment.

I took his immunization record, we went in, and I confessed that I was a negligent mommy who didn't even which shots her son needed. They looked at the record, looked at me a bit patronizingly, and said he needed his MMR (measles, mumps, rubella), his DTP (diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis), and his polio vaccines. Fine. I filled out the forms and proceeded to read all the warning blurb on each vaccine - note that that would be seven pages of blurb - while we waited.

When they called us back to her office, the nurse had prepared three lovely syringes of protection for the Young Child. I looked at them, and, being the detail person that I am, said, "You know, the paperwork I was given in the waiting room says that you have to have your pertussis booster before age seven, and Andrew turned seven ten days ago."

Now, this was not a problem for me, but it was a problem for the Branson Health Department; a big problem. However, the nurse was very nice and said that she would need to do some checking. I told her that I was perfectly FINE with his having his pertussis shot ten days late, and if it would save her hide, I would gladly sign a paper to that effect. Mainly, the kids were on their way to White Water, and I just wanted to get the shots and go!

She appreciated my flexibility, but no, that wouldn't work, because, you see, there are specific guidelines, and they must be adhered to. She called someone else in the office to ask her advice and was told that this situation had never arisen before. Never!?! Isn't it just like Roberts' to ALWAYS be pioneering something? Sigh. Sometimes I get tired of being on the cutting edge.

Our friend the nurse went ahead and gave the first two injections, one in each arm, and Andrew didn't so much as flinch! Wisely, she had given the worst one first. Surely everything would be downhill from here. She then called someone in the state health organization, explained our little pertussis issue, and was asked told to hold. She held for a long time, while Andrew happily sat on my lap and looked around her office. She finally talked with another human and again explained our situation. That person could only tell her to read the fine print on the package insert (which she had already done - no help at all). She was told to call another number to talk with someone about the federal guidelines for administering the pertussis vaccine. Lovely.

She was about to dial that number when suddenly she looked up at me and said, "you know, the guidelines for pertussis have changed recently, just in the past six weeks." [Meaning that if I had thought about vaccinations a mere six weeks earlier, I could have been ten days late without causing a problem!] "They are now recommending that an additional booster shot be given to teens, um, let me look it up, I think it's at age 14 up through age 16."

Now, this was great news! If Andrew could have the pertussis vaccine from birth through age six, and again from age fourteen through age sixteen, then surely there was nothing magic about the numbers 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13! Besides, I had been having a really hard time trying to figure out exactly what had changed so much about Andrew in the past ten days. It surely wasn't his appearance, and it I knew it wasn't his attitude. His intelligence seemed about the same, and his skinned knees still bled red. What DID the health department consider magic about turning seven?!?!

The nurse dialed yet again and reached a receptionist who said she would call right back. I felt pretty bad. By this time, we had climbed the entire chain of command, simply because I had failed to keep my mouth shut; another recurring problem. [It reminded me of the time I was reading the Bible to the big kids - then 9, 7, and 5 - and we happened upon the story of Phillip and the Ethiopian eunuch. I should have just kept reading, but, being a seize-the-teachable-moment homeschooling mom and one who cannot keep her mouth shut, I said, "Do you know what a eunuch is?" You cannot imagine my horror when that innocent question ended up leading into a full-blown sex discussion with an intensely curious five-year-old!]

Anyway, at this point Jessica and Josiah had been waiting out in the car for well over thirty minutes. I really wanted to go out and at least tell them what the hold-up was, but I also wanted to be there when the nurse gave him the next injection. If she got the call-back that said she could go ahead, I wanted her to shoot him fast, before he knew what hit him. I didn't want her to have to wait till I came back in, and Murphy's Law being what it is, if I went out to the car, she would surely get the green light while I was gone.

It was a good thing I stayed put; the head honcho guideline person did call back in just a couple of minutes. Andrew was NOT allowed to have the pertussis shot after his seventh birthday. It HAD to be given before age seven, although (get this!) they were considering dropping the recommended age for the next booster shot from 14 to ten. That would mean that the only years he couldn't have this amazing shot were 7, 8, and 9. The margin was narrowing rapidly! = )

Our favorite nurse then had to go ditch the DPT-filled syringe and draw up another one containing only diphtheria and tetanus. She came back, swabbed him again, and let him have it. Not a peep. What a guy! (Whew!) He hardly bled, chose some colorful Band-Aids anyway, and went out to the car. Meanwhile, the nurse said to me, "If I were you, here's what I'd do: Since he won't have had any pertussis vaccine since he was tiny, call us either next year or the year after and see what the new pertussis guidelines are. Then, assuming that by then the age fourteen booster has been dropped to age ten, you can go ahead and let him have it as soon as he turns ten."

It's always good to have a plan. Now I just have to put that plan in my planner, so I will remember to do it.

Until Next Time,
Patty

Quote of the Week:

"Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality. ~ Beatrix Potter

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