Walnuts on My Windshield

Issue #3

Friday, June 25, 2004

It's my off day. For me there are two essentials to off day. One, sleeping in, and two, doing nothing. I succeeded partially with One, and now I'm thinking about exactly how I want to do Two.

Josiah is gone for three days to the annual Cub Scout Residence Camp. That should be a fun time for him, and although breaks from the boys can be refreshing to those who remain, I am experiencing a sense of loss. I lost my twice-a-day dishwasher emptier. I lost my lunch clean up person. Worst of all, I lost the bulk of the Entertain-Andrew-So-Mom-Can-Do-Nothing-On-Her-Off-Day Committee. Hence, I was awakened earlier than I would have preferred, and I am trying to keep the young child occupied while his sisters enjoy their sleeping in. = )

I have a beef with the Maytag Man. You may remember him. He's the guy in the blue uniform and billed cap who never has any work to do because Maytags never need repairs. A few years ago, our old Whirlpool dishwasher finally died. For five months, we just washed dishes by hand. Actually, I trained the kids to wash dishes by hand.

Eventually, we were ready to buy a new one. We went dishwasher shopping. I had really liked my Whirlpool and wanted some specific features it had. We narrowed it down to a Whirlpool and a Maytag. I didn't like the plate arrangement or the silverware set-up on the Maytag, but we eventually chose that one, because we knew it would be reliable. We surely didn't want the guy in the blue hat in our kitchen!

Well, the dishwasher worked fine for a while, and then over time, although it ran the full cycle, the dishes no longer got clean. Sigh. After a lot of trouble-shooting, we figured out that the thing that spins around in the bottom and shoots water up through a bunch of little holes wasn't shooting any water out. Disassembling that apparatus, Scott found that all the little holes were clogged, primarily with bits of masking tape and those little stickers that the produce department puts on apples. Unfortunately, there is no way to completely take apart that long spin thing. Hence, we had to try to remove the offending miscellanea with toothpicks and tweezers.

It took about an hour and was gross. After all that, and after sternly informing the children that those who allow such materials into the dishwasher would find themselves cleaning the long spin thing, the dishwasher worked fine for a while. Then it happened again. Only this time, there were many fewer apple labels and bits of masking tape. Now we were dealing with things like tiny shreds of lettuce, miscellaneous bits of plastic, kernels of corn, and grains of rice.

Scott has resigned himself to taking the bottom of the dishwasher apart and cleaning it every so often. Yesterday, I had to do it for the first time, as the situation was desperate and he was unavailable. No fun, and when I put it back together, the dishes STILL didn't get clean. Evidently, there is some other holder of gross food matter of which I was unaware.

I really don't mind (my children) washing dishes by hand. What I mind is their having to do that when there is a relatively new, expensive machine sitting there that is supposed to do it for you! If I have to rinse the dishes to the point of being spotless before loading the beast (which is what I am doing, effective last evening), I may as well wash them myself. That's my beef with the Maytag Man: he builds piece of equipment that won't do the job, and then expects US to service it every month. When I grow up, I wanna Whirlpool!

I've been cheating on my diet too much lately, so, my current loss stands at 26 pounds. I'm really sick of salad. I'd actually rather not eat than eat salad, but if I skip meals, I get too hungry and tend to eat "real" food. L One incentive to continue with salad suppers is that we have picked a lot of grape tomatoes and they are delicious! We also have one ripe Better Boy, so I think I can now justify throwing out the plastic Romas in the veggie drawer. The difference between eating a store-bought tomato and a home grown tomato is something like the difference between Bull Creek and the Mississippi River.

Finally, there's the mouse. Sometimes they get in the cellar and die. It's not their being in the cellar that bothers me so much. It's not even their dying, which is actually good. It's the fact that after they die, they almost NEVER crawl out of the cellar to decompose somewhere else. When we perceive cellar stench, there is a standard plan of attack: Patty calls Scott. I have a firm conviction that certain things are male responsibilities. Search-and-Eliminate falls into that category.

Thankfully, Scott and Josiah successfully extricated two (probably sister) rodents. However, we have evidence that they had a younger brother, who has also exited this life from these premises. I spent a lot on air fresheners and de-activated charcoal at Wal-Mart this week. We Roberts' never give up. He WILL be found!

Until next time,

Patty

Total Weight Loss: (due to cheating this week.) 26 pounds
Currently Reading: I'm almost done with Anybody Can Do Anything, by Betty MacDonald. Very funny.
Currently Listening to: This week, I finished listening to Ice Bound, by Jerri Nielsen. It was an amazing story, sometimes riveting. However, I wish she had been a Christian.
Quote of the Week: "If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees." ~ Author Unknown